First things first...

Hello DECEMBER! Wow! The long awaited month had finally come. Today, as apart of the new era, I would make this day meaningful and memorable. Today also is my second exam paper in which I do much effort especially in the given assignment. Blessings are given and be counted as priceless. 


Now, I am ready to face whatever the challenges that life may gave to me. I know my redeemer will help me make through it. I love you Lord.


P.S.
It's just a short post to welcome my first post for the first day of December. I don't want to miss the opportunity. :)


ANGELIQUE.

Sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead...

"Nothing compares

no worries, or cares,

Regrets and mistakes they're

memories made.

Who would have known how

bittersweet this would taste."

Oh what a day. I still got two exams to pass. And there's something happened that what I feared about. I don't wanna be mean in the first place, bit the thing that made me embarrassed was that, someone made a s**t around. It's like, WOW! Who asked you to send me a message? I'm not that coward to not reply in your message. 

I'm just trying to be nice and be smooth. I just want you to handle it without harming anybody else. I know he chooses you and I accept the fact and accepted you. I'm not as perfect as you think. 

One advice for you. "Hold on to the things that you know you can't have it back. Don't waste the time that you're together. It's the greatest opportunity that God gave to the both of you."

ANGELIQUE.

Do I have to?

"Don't wanna close the door, 

don't wanna give up on it. 

Don't wanna fight no more,

 we'll find a way around it.

 Where's the love we had?

 We can make it last..." 

It's gonna be this time that'll I got to go, and move out from this curse. It's not normal, I've become so stupid. They don't know how much the burden I'm carrying.

From now on, I'll just go with the flow, I know someone out there when I'm ready to love again, he will come and bring a lasting happiness to the both of us. I'm not closing my heart to anybody else in this world. I just accept why are this things were happening. It's not also right to use someone else just to forget about someone. This is just a lesson to be learned once again. It's a lifetime lesson that will stock in your mind forever.

I know GOD has his own plans for me, and it is for the better. I know GOD won't give us burdens in life that we can't solve or we can't recover. He is always there to guide us in our daily lives and protecting us. He showed upon us his never ending love. 

ANGELIQUE.

Greatest Gift...

Jesus said to his disciples:

"Be watchful! Be alert!"

For God never fails us to tell us first before anything else does. He gives his never ending love for us and carry our burdens. God always finds a way to lead us into the right path and protect us from all temptations.

He always tell us be wise everyday. So that temptation won't dwell in our soul and mind.

REFLECTION:

Lord, give us the knowledge to conquer the daily consequences and challenges that we may encounter within our journey. Help us to motivate our selves by giving us wisdom and courage everyday. Lord, I am sinful and unworthy to receive the blessings that you gave us. Help me to repent all those sins and deliver me from evil. 

Amen.

ANGELIQUE.

Long and Winding Journey...

At last! I had a chance to talk again about my lifeline! 


Well, well, well. For TWO weeks of being busy for the school's event, I felt so relieved that I knew the activity was very successful in spite of all the troubles came up. I was very thankful for all the persons that were there who cooperated and give their undying efforts especially our Student Council President, who have organized the activity. 
Oh! Before I forgot, the school's activity is called "Dinner and Dance" which is done yearly. The said activity is done to make the students be acquainted with each other. It is may be Senior, Junior or Freshman, or an Ex-student. The theme of the activity was "The 70's." Oh Yeah!


So here's what I wore:

Do I look like the 70's? Hell. It's like I'll gonna have a night out with friends at the disco. Heee.

Too much of the Dinner and Dance fever. I'm very proud to say that I'm a student of Asian Tourism International College. 

Lalalala...

November 25, 2011. It's the first time that I met my friend and luckily it's her 20th birthday. It's the first time that we talked and share a lot of things especially or BREAK UP's with our boyfies. 

Weird as I will differentiate it. Both of us were chased, and both of our boyfriends got new girlfriends. See? It fascinates me sometimes if I'll keep on thinking that those things were happening right now. Do they realized their lost? Or the demons were with them to not let us move on? 

How I wish that the past never ends. The day when I thought that I already have him. The day when I already get to know him more. Though sometimes we fought, but we know how to handle those times. I wanna cry sometime when the thing suddenly cross in my mind and I am bewildered again. 

I become weak every time I bid goodbye to him. It's never been easy for me to communicate and hear his voice when I'm with him. I felt jealousy to those who were having a strong and balanced relationship. Even though, not all things are ended happily ever after, but once in their life they learn how to build a relationship that someday, it'll gonna last forever. 

Problems came up... and now, I felt the world is crushing down on me again. I'm bringing forces that burdened me every time I walk, talk or face to people.

Thank God, for giving me a chance to laugh out all those problems, for giving me the courage and strength to continue my journey. God never ceases his love for us, through ups and downs of our daily life. He is there whenever we call.

Please REWIND-PLAY-STOP...

I'm thinking about things since yesterday and last morning until it came up to my mind if I already post another lifeline in my blog. And in the end of this shameful stupidity, I totally forgot.  Darn it!


I'm so busy with in this month. Pressures are on in my weight. I'm carrying it every single day of my life. Surrendering is not really an option. You know I cried lately while I'm making my assignment because my head is aching, my nerves are shaking me, my whole body is never at peace. I want to go to a place where I could sit in silence, with my love one, laughing, talking and forgetting about what are the things that I still need to do. 


Rewinding the part where I'm happy and no pressures at all when I'm still in my high school days, where I said to my self that "Wow, I'm on this game!" I felt tough, my pride is there, I felt like I was on top. I wanna Play those part that I put my self to riches. It's not money that I meant, but rich in love, success and happiness. This was the part where I could say that the best is never only best, but it is the best among the rest. And lastly, I want to Stop the moment where I still could fix the things that I needed to fix. The broken and unfixed situations that put me almost in despair. I wanted to give anything just to have a good fixation of things.


But LIFE must go on. Life is unstable, it's like a river that has no end. The more you play with the river, the more it will give you strong waves. Play life, but don't be abusing. Life may be good, but be ready on its twists. 


ANGELIQUE.

This is Life and I'm Contented About It...

*Guitar strumming, Drums rolling* SING:

|

|

|

V

"I have, the time of my life, no I've never felt this way before. Yes I swear, it's the truth and I owe it all to you..." 


I felt so happy all the way, trying to forget everything, the hurts and despairs, the sacrifices and the TRUTH. You know, contentment is naturally accepting whatever life is giving you. Contentment is irresistible and you can't say that every little thing that you've got that you would never be contented on it.


Life itself is giving you chances to strike one more time again. With the highest voltage that you could ever give in and no one will judge you nor gonna stop you. Because they knew you but not your story.
As what my friend said, "Life is sometimes, Wow I did it! But sometimes, okay it's not my turn yet."

ANGELIQUE.

I don't see what I have to offer...

When I feel that days and nights are not good to me, I know that there's something deep or outside me is not at ease. I kept on listening to my heart pounding and it always skips a beat, weird. I don't know if what does this thing means. Because every time I felt like this, something is really happening.

I can't ignore this hidden emotion that I want to burst. I wanna give up. But I'm pity of the ones I love. The trust that they've given me, the love that never ceases, especially their support, not only financially, but physically and emotionally. 

I can't be tough and I can't be strong every time. I wanna be alone for now. I'm finding silence in my heart, my body, my soul and my mind. I want to feel the breath of the earth surpassing my veins, the wind's blowing off of me that made my soul flew all the way. 

I want to find my self again. The Angelique that my friends always says that who's strong enough, the one who never gives up. The one who can never be lifted up by the strongest wind.  

I'm feeling so lost right now in this world that was once I knew that was beautiful and worth living. Life is not very easy to be played of and I can assure you that.

Where's your hand?

I need someone's palm right now. I need to feel someone who could bare with me in this situation. I need to hold on tight. I MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR IT.


Emotions are mixing, mashing up on me. Stabbing me on the back. Why is this happening? I'm full of unanswered questions that I know only someone could answer. Honestly, I don't even know how to fight for it. The courage and strength are all flying behind me. I can't even write a good sentence for me to start this post, and I don't know how to end it.


Maybe this is just apart of life's challenges. These challenges for me are there maybe to help make it through. 

A big W.H.A.T...

It's almost one month after our break-up with my boyfriend, but I'm still confused what is his true motive. He's feelin' like we're still together. I felt very awkward inside the class because they don't really even know what's happening between us two. Only some of them knows. 


But why do he's still acting like a boyfriend? Sometimes I felt nut, and I really don't know why. Actually, I still do love him. But the fact that he choose the other instead of me, what's the reason behind all these things are happening? What's his real purpose?


I keep on asking him the same question everyday about this weirdness that I felt every time he's beside me. And you know what's hes answer? He said, "Because you're my everything." And a big w.h.a.t in my f***ing mind! It leave's strange things in my mind that makes me not to sleep sometimes. 


I have a lot of plans to the both of us. But now, I'm losing hope. Because I'm losing the one whom I knew that who could help me make it. Sigh...

An ALL SOUL'S DAY EXAM...

Today is ALL SOULS DAY. People should be celebrating it their loved ones who have been dead, giving them time and privacy, praying and a reunion with the family. 
But wait! I'm confused here. Why aren't we having a holiday? We got a DAMN EXAM! W**.


I already missed having trick-or-treat thing when I'm still in my hometown, eating in above the tomb of my grandmother (isn't it scary? HAHA!), playing cards, talking with my cousins, and so on. 


I'm missing my family so much that I want to go home already. I wanna hug and kiss them. They were my inspiration why I'm fulfilling my dreams, why I have my goals, and why did I do this. 


This is all for my first post in the November. :) Till next time kiddies. 


P.S.
Since it's November, I'm changing my font to Georgia. 


ANGELIQUE.